4 Ways I was being harmful during my yoga practice and how it carried off of my mat.
Learn from my journey! Practice non-harming (Ahimsa) on and off of your yoga mat for a better yoga and life experience.
When we think of yoga, we often think about yoga poses (asanas). Although the poses (asanas) are important, the practice of yoga is so much more than just the poses. When we study yoga we are studying beyond the physical practice. Ashtanga Yoga is a yoga system that encompasses all aspects of Hatha Yoga. This system was designed to incorporate the best Hatha Yoga techniques. These techniques ensure that you are using the time you spend on your yoga mat in the most efficient way. The nice thing about this system is that all the techniques have been picked specifically because they’re the most effective in reaching the goal of obtaining Raja Yoga and have stood the test of time. While working to reach this state of Raja Yoga we are creating a clean, open, healthy vessel which will ensure you are able to function at full capacity mentally and physically. In this newsletter I’d like to start taking you through the 8 limbs of yoga (ashtanga). The first limb or branch of yoga is the yamas. There are 5 yamas. The first yama is ahimsa. Ahimsa means non harming. I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned through studying this yama and leave you with a few questions for contemplation.
Ahimsa — non harming
Every limb can be practiced on and off of your yoga mat. For me personally it helps me to understand a concept on my mat before I take it off of the mat. That time practicing physical asana is the perfect opportunity to focus in and see what comes up.
The first thing I realized I was doing that was harmful was pushing through pain. Trying to make my body fit into shapes that it wasn’t ready for. Feeling pain and not modifying the practice because I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone. I ended up with bursitis in both shoulders until I finally changed my practice to serve my needs. In doing that I learned so much and got to explore places I never would have if I didn’t change what I was doing. By the time I was ready to try what I was previously doing that was hurting I had everything in place and it never felt better.
Once I was met with this obstacle on the mat I realized I was also doing it off of the mat as well. I was in a marriage that was unhealthy and I worked a job that I hated. I was trying to fit into a place that wasn’t suited for me. And I was severely depressed. Learning to take my time, breath at my true boundary, and listen to what my needs are really helped me take my life into a new direction that felt much more authentic.
Not getting out of my comfort zone is another way I was being harmful to myself. Change happens and it’s completely necessary. When we refuse to change or we don’t face our fears we are being harmful to ourselves by missing out on opportunities for growth. If I never left my toxic marriage and my job that was unfulfilling I would have not been able to find someone who is a great match for me and a career that lets me do what I love most, share yoga knowledge and help people take care of themselves physically and mentally through hatha yoga techniques.
I was afraid to follow my passions because I felt secure with a consistent paycheck, health insurance, and a 15 year long relationship. Even though it seemed like I was on a good pathway, I did not feel authentic or fulfilled with what my life had become. All of these elements in my life came to an end at the same time. I was knocked down to my foundation, thank you Shiva;), and got the opportunity to start from scratch. I was devastated at the time but looking back, change had to happen or my path would have led to a life of suffering (Dukkha).
The other way I discovered I was being harmful was with negative dialogue running through my head as I pushed myself through the practice. I had an urgency to concur asanas and rush to get through Ashtanga Primary Series as fast as I could. I was never content (Santosha) with where I was and my internal dialog told me I wasn’t where I wanted or needed to be. I also phrased a lot of the things I said in a negative way. Once my teacher Michael pointed this out to me I realized how often I was doing it. I really had to work hard to retrain the way I saw myself and the world around me and had to learn that where I was and am is exactly where I need to be to prepare myself for whatever was to come next.
I also realized that not only did I have negative dialog running through my head all of time but I allowed others to be verbally abusive to me as well. I allowed others to cross boundaries with me and just stayed quiet and took it, or I would fight back but not in a constructive way that would bring an end to it. I would fight in a way that fueled the fire and made the fighting circular. Very much a waste of my energy (Brahmacharya). Now I’m more likely to take a few deep breaths and analyze the situation to try and come to a peaceful resolution where no one’s feelings get hurt.
I was also extremely harmful with my food choices which negatively affected my body weight and held me back in my physical practice. I ate whatever tasted good and my body reflected that. I was 50 pounds overweight and I developed asthma, had horrible allergies, and chronic pain everywhere. My physical asana practice was suffering. I wasn’t getting as deeply into poses as I would have been able to if extra adipose tissue wasn’t stopping me from reaching my boundaries. My joints bothered me and my stamina suffered because of the extra weight I was carrying.
Once I cleaned up my diet and went plant-based it completely changed everything for the better. Any extra weight I was carrying dropped off. I had always considered myself an animal lover and couldn’t justify how I could practice being non harming (Ahimsa) if I’m consuming products, dairy included, that are directly harmful to the animal, myself, the planet, and in turn all of the planet’s inhabitants. It feels amazing to have my actions align with my morals. At one point I used to say “everything in moderation is ok” but now realize that would not be ok for any other injustice and it shouldn’t be ok for this injustice either. We do ourselves an injustice, our fellow earthlings and our planet when we consume in a harmful way.
Let’s all consider the impact our lifestyle has on the earth and how it affects our fellow inhabitants. Let’s make real change by navigating the world and our choices through the lens of Ahimsa.
In closing I’d like to leave you with a few questions for contemplation.
How can I practice ahimsa on and off of my yoga mat? How will it benefit me, the planet and my fellow earthlings to do so?
